Sacrifice

We talked about Sacrifice in church on Sunday. The manual started out with this statement "Sacrifice means giving to the Lord whatever He requires of our time, our earthly possessions, and our energies to further His work. The Lord commanded, “Seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness” (Matthew 6:33). Our willingness to sacrifice is an indication of our devotion to God. People have always been tried and tested to see if they will put the things of God first in their lives." We talked of the things that people have sacrificed for what they believe: family, friends, habits, time, money, health and even life. We talked about the greatest sacrifice,
John 3:16
For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.

It got me thinking about the things I have given up to follow the Lord. I found it very interesting the timing of the lesson. This Friday is a very special day for me. Almost 12 years ago I found myself, a starving college student without a job, pregnant. The father first talked of marriage until I found out that he was already married. The future looked very bleak. I had no job, hadn't finished school, and had told the father in no uncertain terms to stay away from me. Abortion was never an option for me. As the due date got closer I went back and forth between the options of keeping the child and placing her for adoption. Some days I felt strong and confident, others I wasn't so sure, but in the quiet nights I realized that I did not have the things a child needed. With the help of a counselor and a mentor from LDS Family Services I started looking at potential adoptive families. After much prayer and counsel I found a family that I felt very good about. I decided to meet them and after a two hour meeting I knew that they were the parents of my unborn child. I can still remember the first thing we said to them. As Mari entered the room the first thing we noticed was her crazy curly hair. My mom said, I know this is supposed to be Kiersten's interview, but I have to ask, is your hair naturally that way or do you perm it? With a tired smile Mari replied, it's natural. Little Chenoa Centauri/Reagan Elizabeth was born February 25, 2000 via emergency c-section. She had been wrapped in her umbilical cord and after 20 hours of labor her little body couldn't handle the pressure anymore and she went into distress. As a result we both had to stay in the hospital for almost a week. During that time I got to be her mom, it was hard even with all the hospital staff helping and I knew I was doing the right thing. One thing that really stood out to us was her hair, yup you guessed it, crazy curly, just like Mari's. I had one more qualification for Mike and Mari before they could have my daughter for all time. She was born with two toes fused together, not a huge deal but a birth defect none the less. I told my counselor that he was to let them know, have them look at her and if they made a face I would take her back then and there! Well, the first thing out of their mouths when they saw deformity, after the tears of course, was "Oh my gosh, that runs in Mari's family. Her brother has it and so do all his children." (They sent me pictures of the family feet) We kept in contact for a little while, I am the one that stopped writing, and everything kept pointing to the fact that I made the right choice.
Knowing it was the right thing to do has not made it easier. There are times, especially in February, that I wonder what she is doing, wonder what she looks like now, wonder if she gets as exasperated with her hair as her mother did. They told me they would tell her about me, I sometimes wonder if they have yet, what she thinks of me, if she realizes how much I love her.

Sacrifice is a gift of love to our Heavenly Father, it is hard but eventually we will see the Grace of God as we sacrifice our will to His.