My Family

So I heard a trivia question that said that Americans can typically only handle three and a half days of this. The answer was “family visiting from out of town”. I couldn’t believe my ears when I heard that! 3 and ½ days?! That is barely long enough to get caught up. Most of my family was recently in town for the Thanksgiving holiday. I live just down the street from my parents’ house, and every morning my daughter and I would get out of bed, get dressed and then head to their house to have breakfast and spend the entire day with our family. We would leave around 9:30/10 o’clock at night. We did that from Wednesday to Sunday. We played games, we watched movies, we teased, we bickered, we ate food, we listened, we laughed, and we loved. We had friends stop by. We missed my older sister who was unable to come down with her family. Oh and some of the crazy ones got up at 2 ish in the morning to go shopping on Friday. Me personally on that day, I slept until 8:30 or 9. The best part of the weekend was being gathered around my sister-in-law, who after two miscarriages is 6 months pregnant, and her allowing us to put our hands on her abdomen to feel our little nephew kicking away. The worst part of the whole weekend was when my brother and his family and my sister and her family had to pack up their cars and head back up to Washington. I hated saying goodbye. I know I will see them this summer for our annual family reunion, but that is 7 months away!!

My family means so much to me, even when they annoy me, even when I don’t like them all that much. 3 and ½ days, what I wouldn’t give to have that be the amount of time between visits.

I am so glad that I know that I can be with these wonderful people for all eternity. I am theirs and they are mine. Nothing can separate us, not even death.

 Oh how I love my family!

My dad with one of his grandsons

My mom during Murder Charades

My oldest sis and her fam

My oldest Bro and his prego wife :)

Next oldest brother with his wife, son and nephew

My sister and her family

little sister

all the (current) grandkids

My Reason

This is my most precious "possession". This is my monkey in her Halloween costume, and yes that is definitely her attitude. She is all sass, and I love her with all my heart. She is one of my most favorite people in the world. When people ask me why I go to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, she is my reason. I can't imagine believing in a god that would put us in family units only to have that end with death. I l.................................................................................. yup In Matthew it says that the Lord will give unto them [prophets] the keys of the kingdom and whatsoever they bind on earth will be bound in heaven. They were talking about families. We can be with the ones we love, as a family, forever.

I love my family very much and even though they annoy me sometimes, I would never want to be far from them, even in heaven. One of my favorite movie quotes from Little Women is spoken by a dying Beth to her older sister Jo.

Beth: If God wants me with Him, there is none who will stop Him. I don't mind. I was never like the rest of you... making plans about the great things I'd do. I never saw myself as anything much. Not a great writer like you.
Jo: Beth, I'm not a great writer.
Beth: But you will be. Oh, Jo, I've missed you so. Why does everyone want to go away? I love being home. But I don't like being left behind. Now I am the one going ahead. I am not afraid. I can be brave like you.  She then tells her, "I know I shall be homesick for you, even in Heaven". 

How much do you love your family? What would you pay to keep them with you forever? The great thing about the gospel is that it is free! It is available to all men without price. In the Temples of the Lord families can be sealed for time and all eternity. What greater gift is there?

Faith

Faith is to hope for things which are not seen, but which are true (Heb. 11: 1; Alma 32: 21), and must be centered in Jesus Christ in order to produce salvation. To have faith is to have confidence in something or someone. The Lord has revealed himself and his perfect character, possessing in their fulness all the attributes of love, knowledge, justice, mercy, unchangeableness, power, and every other needful thing, so as to enable the mind of man to place confidence in him without reservation. Faith is a principle of action and of power, and by it one can command the elements and/or heal the sick, or influence any number of circumstances when occasion warrants. Even more important, by faith one obtains a remission of sins and eventually can stand in the presence of God.

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I had an amazing weekend. Friday night the Elders came over to visit with my roommate and me. We didn't have a previous appointment. They just texted and asked if they could come over and visit. I have had a stressful week filled with appointments, car problems, health problems, 6 year old temper tantrums and meltdowns. The Elders arrived and asked about our day. I talked about my stress. Then Elder Eccles read from Mosiah 23

  21 Nevertheless the Lord seeth fit to chasten his people; yea, he trieth their patience and their faith.

  22 Nevertheless—whosoever putteth his trust in him the same shall be lifted up at the last day. Yea, and thus it was with this people.

  23 For behold, I will show unto you that they were brought into bondage, and none could deliver them but the Lord their God, yea, even the God of Abraham and Isaac and of Jacob.

  24 And it came to pass that he did deliver them, and he did show forth his mighty power unto them, and great were their rejoicings.

Sometimes it helps to be reminded that bad things happening is not a sign that God has forgotten us, or that we did something wrong. That scripture was just what I needed to hear. As the Elders were getting ready to leave I asked them what had caused them to come visit us. Elder Eccles responded that they wanted to ask us about a friend that has been coming to church and also that they hadn't visited with us and that they really felt that they should come by. It is always amazing to me to see how the Lord answers our prayers with other people, and how He gently reminds us that He does love us and is looking out for us. All He asks is for a little trust, a little faith. Sometimes I get so overwhelmed with my own little perspective that I forget that the Lord knows the ending of my story already. I am going through these things for a reason, even when I don't see it, He knows why. He will inspire other people to come be the answer to my prayers. I am so grateful for people in my life that follow the promptings of the Holy Ghost.

Stake conference was so great. Saturday night and Sunday morning, about three and a half hours of great talks on faith. To be in a room filled to overflowing with people that believe the same things I do was great. Living in the world that we live in, it is so important to have faith. Faith is what helps us keep moving forward.

In the above account from Mosiah 23, the people had done everything they were supposed to do. They were living the commandments, obeying God's will and yet they were still captured by their enemies. They could have given up, they could have decided that God was not real (current day concept: God doesn't exist, if he did how could he let bad things happen to good people), they could have been bitter about their lot. Instead they increased in prayer and faith and were delivered. It proves to me that the Lord is the same today yesterday and forever. People are too. The manner that we end up in "captivity" is different now than it was then but we can react the same way and the way out is still the same. Faith in the Lord is the only way we will make it to eternal freedom.

My favorite scripture from this weekend was 2 Tim. 4: 7 I have fought a good fight, I have finished my course, I have kept the faith.
Faith is not a one time thing, it is not something that happens to us. It is a process and a choice, and it is a lifetime effort. Paul does not say this sentence until he is saying goodbye to Timothy. It is when he knows that he will not be writing to Timothy ever again, as his martyrdom approaches. Finishing a course does not imply doing one thing and being done. It implies steadfastly doing something. I especially like the "fought a good fight" part because living each day with faith is not always easy. Sometimes it is a struggle. Sometimes it is an all-out fight against Satan and his minions. When we excercise that faith, though, we are not left alone. The Lord is at our head and we are surrounded by angels. Like Elisha, 2 Kgs. 6

  16 And he answered, Fear not: for they that be with us are more than they that be with them.

  17 And Elisha prayed, and said, Lord, I pray thee, open his eyes, that he may see. And the Lord opened the eyes of the young man; and he saw: and, behold, the mountain was full of horses and chariots of fire round about Elisha.

Faith is such an amazing and wonderful thing. I am grateful for parents who taught me to have faith in the Lord. For even though I have done silly things in my life, He has never let me down and He has never given up on me.

If life seems hard, have faith, hold out a little longer and the Lord will strengthen you until the time for freedom arrives.

Believe, Act, Receive

 There is a law, irrevocably decreed in heaven before the foundations of this world, upon which all blessings are predicated— and when we obtain any blessing from God, it is by obedience to that law upon which it is predicated.  D&C 130:20-21 I, the Lord, am bound when ye do what I say; but when ye do not what I say, ye have no promise.  D&C 82:10. This blog is about the faith it takes to obey the commandments even when the blessings don’t seem immediately apparent. My friend had this quote on her social network page and I really liked it. It said “Faith is not necessary when you know how things are going to work out, - that's knowledge. It's in the time of unknowing that having faith is what sees you through to the other side. Faith is what gives you strength. Faith is that light in your heart that keeps on shining even when it's all darkness outside.” Faith is not an easy thing to have at times and it is even harder to explain to those who have fallen into Satan’s lie of “if you can’t see it or prove it, it doesn’t exist”. But when we have exercised faith it becomes easier to have faith the next time

When talking about my finances and the things that I would like to do but can’t afford to do I say “when I win the lottery that I don’t play, I will do such and such a thing” Now I know that I can never win the lotto because I never play. Some people seem to want to receive the blessings without obeying the law upon which it is predicated. Then when things don’t go their way they rail about life being unfair, however the Lord is bound by Laws, if He were not He would not be God. He cannot give blessings to those who have not obeyed the laws that the blessings are predicated on. He also cannot withhold blessings from those who have faithfully kept His commandments.

3rd Nephi 24:10 says Bring ye all the tithes into the storehouse, that there may be meat in my house; and prove me now herewith, saith the Lord of Hosts, if I will not open you the windows of heaven, and pour you out a blessing that there shall not be room enough to receive it.

 I have a great testimony of the power of that promise. When my daughter and I first came back to the United States I had $50 to my name. I had one truckload of physical possessions. With much trepidation I got on welfare. I spoke to my bishop and he said that since tithing is paid on an increase, and welfare technically wasn’t an increase, it was up to me to decide if I was going to or not. He pretty much told me that if I didn’t pay tithing on the welfare I was receiving I could still claim myself as a full tithe payer. I decided to put that scripture to the test. In September I started welfare and started paying tithing on it. It was not a lot of money that I was paying each month in tithing, but it was a full 10%. In October I started a mandatory work training class, in November I had a job and in December I was making too much money a month to continue receiving welfare. I know that I was blessed for paying tithing.

Sometimes when we follow a commandment or ask for something the blessings come almost immediately. Other times they seem to not even be on their way.

In D&C 58:4 the Lord tells us “For after much tribulation come the blessings. Wherefore the day cometh that ye shall be crowned with much glory;” however in that same scripture he says “the hour is not yet, but is nigh at hand. “ It is a promise and a warning in a way. There will be blessing and crown of glory, but it’s not coming yet and there will also be much tribulation beforehand.

I love the story of the first vision because it teaches us so many truths, the truly obvious ones are truths such as the Lord and Jesus Christ have physical bodies, they are separate personages and that the Lord does answer prayers. It also teaches us things about blessings. “In accordance with this, my determination to ask of God, I retired to the woods to make the attempt. It was on the morning of a beautiful, clear day, early in the spring of eighteen hundred and twenty. It was the first time in my life that I had made such an attempt, for amidst all my anxieties I had never as yet made the attempt to pray vocally. After I had retired to the place where I had previously designed to go, having looked around me, and finding myself alone, I kneeled down and began to offer up the desires of my heart to God. I had scarcely done so, when immediately I was seized upon by some power which entirely overcame me, and had such an astonishing influence over me as to bind my tongue so that I could not speak. Thick darkness gathered around me, and it seemed to me for a time as if I were doomed to sudden destruction.  But, exerting all my powers to call upon God to deliver me out of the power of this enemy which had seized upon me, and at the very moment when I was ready to sink into despair and abandon myself to destruction—not to an imaginary ruin, but to the power of some actual being from the unseen world, who had such marvelous power as I had never before felt in any being—just at this moment of great alarm, I saw a pillar of light exactly over my head, above the brightness of the sun, which descended gradually until it fell upon me.  It no sooner appeared than I found myself delivered from the enemy which held me bound. When the light rested upon me I saw two Personages, whose brightness and glory defy all description, standing above me in the air. One of them spake unto me, calling me by name and said, pointing to the other—This is My Beloved Son. Hear Him! “

One of the things that always strikes me from this passage is the sentence “and at the very moment when I was ready to sink into despair and abandon myself to destruction, just at this moment of great alarm, I saw a pillar of light exactly over my head, above the brightness of the sun, which descended gradually until it fell upon me.” The Lord could have come at anytime to save the Prophet, but he waited until the very last possible moment. At any of those times Joseph himself could have abandoned his design but he didn’t give in, even when he feared that he would be destroyed he still called upon the Lord in faith. Another lesson that we learn from this is that this first vision occurred in the spring of 1820, after that he was left “to all kinds of temptations; and, mingling with all kinds of society,[he] frequently fell into many foolish errors, and displayed the weakness of youth, and the foibles of human nature; which led [him]into divers temptations, offensive in the sight of God. He didn‘t receive another vision until September 1823, almost 3 and ½ years later. Sometimes there is a good deal of time between obeying a commandment and receiving the promised blessing

Thus saith the Lord your God, even Jesus Christ, the Great I Am, Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end, the same which looked upon the wide expanse of eternity, and all the seraphic hosts of heaven, before the world was made; The same which knoweth all things, for all things are present before mine eyes; D&C 38:1-2

To me that means that I have to remember that the Lord does truly know better than I do. The way I think of it is if all things are present before the Lord than he has already answered my petition. Now it might not be when I want it or even when I think I really need it, but when the Lord knows that I need it.

It is also important to remember that we are not merely mortal creatures, we are not human beings having a spiritual experience, but we are spiritual beings having a human experience, we are children of a Divine Father who has perfect vision but we are looking at life through a physical filter. He has no blinders to affect his vision. He knows precisely when we need the answer to be “yes and now”.

With promise immutable and unchangeable, that inasmuch as those whom I commanded were faithful they should be blessed with a multiplicity of blessings; D&C 104:2 

Waiting for those blessings to come is sometimes the hardest part of being faithful. We are, by nature and exacerbated by the society in which we live, impatient people. We live in a society where if someone can’t get something for you right now, there is someone else who can. Instant gratification is the game of the day. Why wait to save the money to buy something when you can get it on loan? Why wait for marriage before making sure you are compatible? I mean you wouldn’t buy a car without test driving it right? Satan tries to get us to think that since it hasn’t happened yet, it’s not going to happen. What then is the point of keeping a commandment, if the promised blessings never arrive? However, the Lords promises ARE sure! We will always receive the blessing if we have the patience and faith required to wait on the Lords timeline. He knows us better than we know ourselves. He still remembers who we were. We are more than just our mortal experience and the Lord will give us blessings according to our faithfulness and when we need them, to reach our full potential and to help us grow into the people he knows we can become. Patience is something that I struggle with, but I have seen the Lords hand in my life, so I wait. Every day I put one foot in front of the other and continue on the upward path. It is not easy, but I know one day that it will be worth it.

One final thought, with all this waiting to be blessed and trials and tribulations that come before the blessings we should remember that Adam fell that men might be, and men are that they might have joy. Not just some future joy but joy here and now. Brothers and Sisters may we have the faith required to receive the blessings the Lord has promised us and may we find joy in the journey.

Enduring to the End

So I was reading in the Book of Mormon. The account of Lehi's dream. I have heard that story many times in my life but this time a particular verse stood out to me more than ever before.

1 Nephi 8: 6-12
4 ...For behold, methought I saw in my dream, a dark and dreary wilderness.

  5 And it came to pass that I saw a man, and he was dressed in a white robe; and he came and stood before me.

  6 And it came to pass that he spake unto me, and bade me follow him.

  7 And it came to pass that as I followed him I beheld myself that I was in a dark and dreary waste.

  8 And after I had traveled for the space of many hours in darkness, I began to pray unto the Lord that he would have mercy on me, according to the multitude of his tender mercies.

  9 And it came to pass after I had prayed unto the Lord I beheld a large and spacious field.

  10 And it came to pass that I beheld a tree, whose fruit was desirable to make one happy.

  11 And it came to pass that I did go forth and partake of the fruit thereof; and I beheld that it was most sweet, above all that I ever before tasted. Yea, and I beheld that the fruit thereof was white, to exceed all the whiteness that I had ever seen.

  12 And as I partook of the fruit thereof it filled my soul with exceedingly great joy; wherefore, I began to be desirous that my family should partake of it also; for I knew that it was desirable above all other fruit.

 

So every other time I had heard the story I was thinking about the fruit, which represents the love of God. I always thought how wonderful it would be to get that, and all you have to do is follow the Savior. So this time, a different verse popped out to me. I have been having personal struggles lately. Being a single parent is not easy. My daughter is 6 going on 17 at times. Lately I had been wondering if it all was really worth it, following the Lord and trying to do the best I can. I would ask "If we are promised good things for following the Lord, why can't I even get ahead? I am trying to raise my daughter right, why am I being left to flounder?" As I read this account a little sentence stood out to me.

Verse 8 And after I had traveled for the space of many hours in darkness... wow, what a revelation at that moment. Even after we choose to follow the Lord we have to walk in darkness, partly to get us out of the place we put ourselves in by not following. The Lord will show us the path to walk but He will not teleport us out. It is by traveling for those "many hours" that we come to trust and rely on the Lord. If it came easily like being teleported out, I don't think we would appreciate it as much. We value more what we put our time into. When you work for something, you have more care for it once you have it.

Enduring to the end, it's not an easy thing. We do have to pass through moments of darkness, moments of dreariness. We have to endure the scorn of the world for Christ's sake. But at the end of those many hours is happiness beyond description. A joy that you want to share with your family. A love that is worth more than any worldly treasure. That is something I hope that my daughter learns from watching me. The journey is hard, and at times it may not seem worth it, but the Lord will always give us an opportunity to see what we are heading for, like He did for me with an old familiar story.

 

Webster's defines Endure as: to undergo (as a hardship) especially without giving in: suffer

2: to regard with acceptance or tolerance

 

The Topical guide has a more positive outlook on the word "endure"

Endure see also Commitment; Courage; Dedication; Dependability; Diligence;  Faithfulness; Integrity; Loyalty; Obedience; Perseverance: Steadfast 

 

Enduring to the end has a slightly different connotation when you use those definitions. Be faithful, loyal, dedicated, dependable to the end. I think I can do that :)

To forgive, divine

To err is human, to forgive, divine.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E7zwQ_7q-fU

Forgiveness is not always the easiest path. Satan would have us believe that the other person does not deserve forgiveness, or that they need to pay for what they have done. Sometimes we really want to believe those things, especially if what has happened to us is very painful.
However, the Lord has said that vengeance is His. He has also said "I the Lord will forgive whom I will forgive, but of you it is required that ye forgive ALL men." D&C 64:10 He doesn't suggest that this might be a nice thing to do. Or that you can pick and choose who you will forgive. It says "required" and "all".
Forgiveness brings healing to the forgiver and the forgiven. It brings a peace that cannot be found through worldly means. It breaks down walls that are blocking forward progression.
So how does one get to the point as this man did of forgiving someone? How do you get passed the pain that another person's actions have caused?
It can be done. The solution is beautiful in its simplicity. Love them and pray for them. I know how hard it can be, and how easy it can be. It is easiest when you allow the Savior to help you. It is hardest when you try to do it on your own.
I was held in Mexico for four months by a person that had promised to love and cherish me. For me it was quite literally Hell on earth. I was beaten, starved and threatened with death. I was abused physically, sexually, emotionally and mentally. For a brief time I thought I was going to die there and never see my family again. Through a series of miracles my family found out where I was and what was happening to me and orchestrated my rescue. I had lost between 60-80 pounds in those four months and my body was so malnourished that a common virus turned into a ravaging illness that left my skin yellow and me so weak I couldn't even walk a block without needing to stop and rest for several minutes. For weeks after I got back into the States I was so angry, at him, at the people that had helped him hurt me, at myself for even going down there in the first place. I fantasized about death, for me, for him, for his family. For me quick and painless, for his family painful but short and for him lingering torture. Weak and angry I went before the Lord, recognizing that it was His hand that guided my path and led me out of there safely, I pleaded with him. I knew that I could not claim to be a good Christian with so much hate in my heart, and I knew that I could not deny the tender mercies of Christ. So I prayed that I could forgive the people that had hurt me and forgive myself. It was hard to pray for them at first. The words stuck in my throat. I would pray a prayer within the prayer, for the desire to want to say those words. "Help me forgive" A sweet peace came over me, that scripture from Romans came to my mind "Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord." Suddenly my prayer changed, a fervent prayer that this family that had caused me so much pain would find and accept Christ into their lives. Why? Because I realized that no evil idea that I could come up within my little human mind could equal the wrath of a Just and Vengeful God. They needed the Atonement to forgive them of their sins against me as much as I needed it to be able to forgive them and be healed.
Now unlike this man, I have no clue the affect my forgiveness of this family has had on them. I hope that in some cosmic way, they feel it and that their lives are better. I know that my life is better because of it. The Lord doesn't command us to forgive so that the other person feels better. He commands it of us because it allows us to move forward without bitterness. He knows our pain, and He counts our tears and through forgiveness, heals us.

2 Kgs. 20: 5

  Thus saith the Lord, I have heard thy prayer, I have seen thy tears: behold, I will heal thee.

Rev. 21: 4

  And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away.

Acrobatic Butterflies

2 Tim. 1: 7 For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind. There are times when it is easier to stay in the shadows, to hide from the world. Sometimes shame drives us, sometimes pain. Most times it is fear, fear of rejection, fear of retaliation, fear of looking like a fool, fear of being wrong. The Lord has not asked us to know everything, He has asked us to open our mouths and have faith that the words will be provided. Sometimes, like I tell my own child, He says "because I said so." And I need to trust Him that he has a reason, just as I have a reason when I tell my child that.
Philip. 4: 13  I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.So why do I have acrobatic butterflies in my stomach? Being bold and brave has never really been my strength. I am the person behind the camera. I am the (wo)man behind the curtain. So I started this blog so that I could follow the Missionaries in my area, and I got the idea that since I have it I might as well do something with it. So, I have my "larger" blog that pertains to the everyday happenings of my life. But, like the smaller plates of Nephi, this blog will be about spiritual matters. So back to the butterflies, I am a little nervous about putting this side of me forward. I am not ashamed of the Gospel of Christ, but it is very personal to me. I know who I am, I know where I am going, and I am ready to share that knowledge with all who ask. In a world where people don't know what to stand for or what purpose there is, I invite you to come unto Christ and find the best purpose.