Christmas Greetings from my daughter

I work in a non-profit agency. I love where I work and what I do. There are some things however that drive me nuts. We are so concerned about being "diversified" and not offending anyone that we are constantly censoring ourselves. We can't say merry Christmas for fear of offending those that don't believe in Christ. We can't say happy holidays for fear of offending those that don't celebrate any kind of holiday. So much tip toeing about and not speaking our minds for fear. I was at a work party, a white elephant gift exchange. People whispering Merry Christmas to others. I had to go to Target that evening with my daughter. As we were walking in we passed by three ladies. Sofia smiled at them and said cheerfully "Merry Christmas." My brain still in work mode had a minor panic attack as I tried to think of how to explain to her that you don't say that to people you don't know because they might react badly. As I was trying to find a way to gently let her down the ladies turned and smiled at her and said Merry Christmas, and then went on to talk amongst themselves about how sweet that was. As we walked down the aisles the response was the same every time. A slight startle, then a grin and Merry Christmas said back to her. As we went along, my nerves calmed down and I started to enjoy the pleasantly startled reactions of the people she wished Merry Christmas to. She had a few people that didn't respond at all, but since they didn't flinch or react in any way I told her they most likely didn't hear her. By the time we left the store there were many people smiling as they went about their shopping, being reminded by a cheerful little girl about why they were in the store in the first place. It also helped remind me that we need to not worry about what others will think of us.
Romans 1:16 For I am not ashamed of the Gospel of Christ. When we agree to take on His name we agree to accept the ridicule of the world, for the world does not truly see. I am grateful for a daughter who lives her life as a shining example of what not being ashamed looks like. We need to live our lives as fearless as children do. My daughter knows that this is the time to celebrate the birth of our Lord. She cheerily greets anyone who happens to pass her, spreading her infectious joy along the way. So following my daughters example I want to wish anyone within the sight of my blog the merriest of Christmas's. May the true meaning of the season enter into your hearts and homes this year. May God's choicest blessings be yours this season and in the coming year.
With much love for you all
~Kiersten.

Being online to chat

I love Internet tabs. I like being able to click from one web page to another without having to close one page to get to the next. It is especially helpful when I am chatting with someone on one page and looking up information for that person on another page. I was on facebook and my chat window was open. I have several friends that when we are both online one or the other of us will start a chat. I was going from my profile page to my home page when I saw one of my friends pop online. Facebook was going a little slow and so I went to a blog page while it was loading but I kept watching the facebook tab to see when it would start flashing "new message". A little time passed and it never flashed. I started getting a little annoyed with my friend for not writing so I decided to go back to the facebook tab and see why I was so rudely being ignored. I got back to facebook and saw that facebook was having a hiccup moment and had actually taken me offline from chat. I can see how it would be kind of hard for my friend to start chatting with me when facebook was saying that I was offline.
Then I started thinking about Heavenly Father and prayer. How frequently do we have something to pray about but we get distracted by something else? It isn't always "bad" things that distract us. The blog I was looking at was a good blog, but it still distracted me from talking to my friend. How frequently do we pray for something but before God has a chance to answer we close the chat box and sign off? So many people out in the world say that God does not exist, their reasoning is that they pray for something and it doesn't happen. How can he answer when we shut off communication? He is always speaking to people, but have we gone offline just as He was typing in His answer? Do we ignore His blogs ie. Bible, Book of Mormon etc? How many times have you been waiting for communication from a friend but they weren't able to help us at that moment so they send another friend to let us know what's going on? How many times have we asked a friend to pass on a message for us to someone that they would be seeing soon? The prophets of the Lord are the same as those friends. They bring us a message from our Heavenly Father. We should welcome them into our lives and listen to what they say just as we would listen to a friend giving us a message from another friend. If we want to have communication with God we need to keep the line open, and accept answers from unexpected sources. We can't let good things distract us from something better. And every now and then we need to check and make sure that the connection wasn't unknowingly interrupted.

Book Ends



Stable at Harvat Karta Natural Reserve in Israel



Sometimes a random thought will pop into my head and it won't leave until I give it proper thought and usually write about it. I was doing the dished this morning and thinking about Christmas and Easter and the things they celebrate. I was thinking about how Jesus wasn't actually born in December but in the early springtime. (Wintertime would be too cold for shepards to be out with their sheep) As I mentioned in my earlier blog, the stable in which baby Jesus was born was not a traditional stable as we Americans think of them. They were frequently in the sides of hills, made of stone. That thought led me to the crucifixion of the Lord and His burial in a borrowed tomb. "Jesus's body then was conveyed to the place that had been prepared for Joseph's own body, a man-made cave hewn from rock in the garden of his house nearby." If you look at the pictures at the top and bottom of this post, do they not look similar? I find it interesting that both times Jesus's spirit entered his physical body (birth and resurrection) it was in a borrowed dwelling. The bible does not say much about the years before his ministry. We hear about the wise men coming to his house when he is a toddler, the flight into Egypt and the temple teaching at 12 yrs. Other than that we know nothing. We can assume that he was trained in carpentry, that he was not necessarily poor. Even though it isn't mentioned where he ate and slept, he had places to stay when night came. Sometimes it was a disciples house, but those are only mentioned a few times. It is most likely that he had a house, material things, but those are not mentioned because what is important is that he left those things with great frequency to tend to His Father's business.

He lived and taught by example. The fact that he was born and buried in borrowed places shows us that material possessions don't go with us. It's another example of how we should live. It didn't matter what worldly wealth or prestige he might have had, the only thing he had at the beginning of his life was humility, and the only things he had at the end of his life were his good works, his compassion and the things he learned. Everyone who dies whether they are buried in the Taj Mahal or in a paupers grave goes back to that same God that gave them life. It does not matter where we are born but how we live our lives.

His life has many important book ends. He was born in the springtime and he died in the springtime. His birth was heralded by an angel, his resurrection also. His birth was in a humble dwelling that was not his, so was his resurrection. When he left the stable it was empty, so too the tomb. How beautiful those empty stone walls are.

This time of the year we should remember that Christmas is not about material things. Quite the opposite, it remembers a life of selflessness, of service, of Love. We should take this time to dedicate our lives to the Lord and follow the example of the Master Teacher. The room born in and the room he was buried in are both empty of materials things, yet they held the One thing of greatest worth to the souls of men. This Christmas as you think of presents, think of what you can give to our loving Heavenly Father and our Redeemer and King. Think of what they give you all year round without price, and then think of what you can do for your fellow men. My gift to Christ this year is to open my mouth (or in this case free my hands) and not be ashamed of my testimony of Jesus Christ. In a world that is too concerned about what they say offending other people or hurting their feelings, I will speak boldly. In a world that shies away from public prayers and talk of God, I will shout from the rooftops. We have a loving Heavenly Father who truly did send His Beloved Son to save us from our sins. I know that Jesus is the Christ, that he died for us and still lives today. He is my brother, my friend, my counselor and my Redeemer. This year my gift at the manger is an open heart and willing hands.

" 9And, lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid.

 10And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people.

 11For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord.

 12And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger.

 13And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying,

 14Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men" Luke Chapter 2

Tomb in Israel

The Innkeeper

This time of year there is much to think about. I was thinking of the innkeeper that let Mary and Joseph stay in his stable. Luke chapter two relates the story.
1And it came to pass in those days, that there went out a decree from Cæsar Augustus, that all the world should be taxed.

 2(And this taxing was first made when Cyrenius was governor of Syria.)

 3And all went to be taxed, every one into his own city.

 4And Joseph also went up from Galilee, out of the city of Nazareth, into Judæa, unto the city of David, which is called Bethlehem; (because he was of the house and lineage of David:)

 5To be taxed with Mary his espoused wife, being great with child.

 6And so it was, that, while they were there, the days were accomplished that she should be delivered.

 7And she brought forth her firstborn son, and wrapped him in swaddling clothes, and laid him in a manger; because there was no room for them in the inns*.

Now this does not really give us a lot of information about the innkeeper but we need to bear in mind several things about this story. First of all verse one says that "all the world" was told to go to their own city. Now that did not mean the city they were born in but the city that was for their line.

Matthew 1:17

So all the generations from Abraham to David are fourteen generations; and from David until the carrying away into Babylon are fourteen generations; and from the carrying away into Babylon unto Christ are fourteen generations.

So 14 generations from David to captivity + 14 generations from captivity to Christ = 28 generations. 28 generations means a lot of people. Imagine your typical old testament family has at least 4 sons. If those sons have 4 sons and they have 4 sons and so on by the time you get to Christ's generation that's 72,057,594,037,927,936 people. Now they had a lot of wars and contentions so let's just imagine that only two sons live to adulthood from each generation, that is still 134,217,728 people all descending on one town to be counted and this isn't even counting any daughters of the current generation. If each family of the current generation has two daughters that's another 134 million more people. So 134 million people is a very conservative count. Even if they rotated in and had the count over the period of a few months or even a year there would still be a huge number of people in Bethlehem.
Is it any wonder that with that many people in town it would be hard to find lodging. Especially for a man taking great care of a hugely pregnant woman. I can picture Joseph walking slower than necessary while Mary was probably having contractions. They would have arrived in town later than the rest of the world. The fact that every inn they went to was full was no indication of their wealth or status, just a fact that there were a lot of people there.
Imagine if you will going to the Olympics without making hotel reservations. Imagine you arrive the day of the opening ceremonies. How hard would it be to find lodging? I think the innkeeper that allowed this blessed family a place in his stable wasn't being disrespectful, nor do I think his was the only stable in town where people were sleeping. When we were in Utah this past summer for a family reunion we got rained out of our camp site and all of us converged on my sisters house. 20 people in a modest 3 bedroom house, we were in the rooms, the living room, dining room and kitchen. We were sleeping wherever there was room. I picture Bethlehem that same way. People slept where there was room.
This innkeeper was the one that finally gave them a place to sleep. It may have been compassion, it may have been money or even a little of both, but whatever his reason, he unknowingly chose to be the first person(besides Mary and Joseph) to give place to the Christ child. I think of that stable, the first place people were able to kneel before the mortal Messiah. The innkeeper didn't have much to offer, but he offered what he could and the Lord accepted it. I don't have a palace to offer my King, but if He was willing to be born in a stable, I am sure He will accept the humble home I have to offer.

This Christmas time we should think about what we have in our lives. Do we make place for the Savior of the World? Or do we tell him we have no room available?

"Tell His name, sing His praise in all the world. Till all the world believes. Till every voice is lifted up to praise the Prince of Peace" ~ Sally DeFord

I dreamed a dream

I love the Broadway production of Les Miserables. I love the music and I love the story. It is a story based on a student rebellion in France. It's a story of sadness, heartache, betrayel, but also hope, love and ultimately salvation. The character I can identify with the most is Fantine. Our lives were very similar up to a point. She is abused and betrayed in the story and as she is dying finally finds someone to trust to raise her daughter. Just before she has a conversation with Jean Valjean, a convict who is trying to find redemption, she sings a song titled "I dreamed a dream".

There was a time when men were kind,
And their voices were soft,
And their words inviting.
There was a time when love was blind,
And the world was a song,
And the song was exciting.
There was a time when it all went wrong...

I dreamed a dream in time gone by,
When hope was high and life, worth living.
I dreamed that love would never die,
I dreamed that God would be forgiving.
Then I was young and unafraid,
And dreams were made and used and wasted.
There was no ransom to be paid,
No song unsung, no wine, untasted.

But the tigers come at night,
With their voices soft as thunder,
As they tear your hope apart,
And they turn your dream to shame.

He slept a summer by my side,
He filled my days with endless wonder...
He took my childhood in his stride,
But he was gone when autumn came!

And still I dream he'll come to me,
That we will live the years together,
But there are dreams that cannot be,
And there are storms we cannot weather!

I had a dream my life would be
So different from this hell I'm living,
So different now from what it seemed...
Now life has killed the dream I dreamed...

I love this song. I know, for such a perky person as myself this seems like a very dreary song. But I think there are times when every person can relate to this. There are times when we feel like everything has fallen apart and is shattered beyond repair. Struggling to raise a child on my own, in a depressed economy, there have been many times this song fit my life to a T. There have been times when I listened to this song with a tender heart, sobbing as my life was described.
Fantine and I differ in what happens when the song ends. Fantine dies, never seeing her daughter again. I stand up, dust myself off and move forward.
Why is my ending different even though we went through the same thing? Hope.
I have a personal relationship with my Savior. I know that my name is engraven on the palms of His hands. I am purchased at an infinite price. I have the hope of better things because my Lord has promised me that. I have the promise of a large shady tree at the end my journeys. A tree whose fruit is most desirable, sweet above all that is sweet. I also have the knowledge that at every step of my way He is there. Everytime I fall He is there to help me up and dust me off. I have seen the face of God and I know of His love for me. Even in my darkest moments He has been that tiny glimmer of Light that kept me going.
Hope is a wonderful thing "Remember Red, hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies. "
Have you ever wanted to find hope? To have a better relationship with your Savior? Talk to me, I know some great young men I would love to introduce you to.

My Family

So I heard a trivia question that said that Americans can typically only handle three and a half days of this. The answer was “family visiting from out of town”. I couldn’t believe my ears when I heard that! 3 and ½ days?! That is barely long enough to get caught up. Most of my family was recently in town for the Thanksgiving holiday. I live just down the street from my parents’ house, and every morning my daughter and I would get out of bed, get dressed and then head to their house to have breakfast and spend the entire day with our family. We would leave around 9:30/10 o’clock at night. We did that from Wednesday to Sunday. We played games, we watched movies, we teased, we bickered, we ate food, we listened, we laughed, and we loved. We had friends stop by. We missed my older sister who was unable to come down with her family. Oh and some of the crazy ones got up at 2 ish in the morning to go shopping on Friday. Me personally on that day, I slept until 8:30 or 9. The best part of the weekend was being gathered around my sister-in-law, who after two miscarriages is 6 months pregnant, and her allowing us to put our hands on her abdomen to feel our little nephew kicking away. The worst part of the whole weekend was when my brother and his family and my sister and her family had to pack up their cars and head back up to Washington. I hated saying goodbye. I know I will see them this summer for our annual family reunion, but that is 7 months away!!

My family means so much to me, even when they annoy me, even when I don’t like them all that much. 3 and ½ days, what I wouldn’t give to have that be the amount of time between visits.

I am so glad that I know that I can be with these wonderful people for all eternity. I am theirs and they are mine. Nothing can separate us, not even death.

 Oh how I love my family!

My dad with one of his grandsons

My mom during Murder Charades

My oldest sis and her fam

My oldest Bro and his prego wife :)

Next oldest brother with his wife, son and nephew

My sister and her family

little sister

all the (current) grandkids

My Reason

This is my most precious "possession". This is my monkey in her Halloween costume, and yes that is definitely her attitude. She is all sass, and I love her with all my heart. She is one of my most favorite people in the world. When people ask me why I go to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, she is my reason. I can't imagine believing in a god that would put us in family units only to have that end with death. I l.................................................................................. yup In Matthew it says that the Lord will give unto them [prophets] the keys of the kingdom and whatsoever they bind on earth will be bound in heaven. They were talking about families. We can be with the ones we love, as a family, forever.

I love my family very much and even though they annoy me sometimes, I would never want to be far from them, even in heaven. One of my favorite movie quotes from Little Women is spoken by a dying Beth to her older sister Jo.

Beth: If God wants me with Him, there is none who will stop Him. I don't mind. I was never like the rest of you... making plans about the great things I'd do. I never saw myself as anything much. Not a great writer like you.
Jo: Beth, I'm not a great writer.
Beth: But you will be. Oh, Jo, I've missed you so. Why does everyone want to go away? I love being home. But I don't like being left behind. Now I am the one going ahead. I am not afraid. I can be brave like you.  She then tells her, "I know I shall be homesick for you, even in Heaven". 

How much do you love your family? What would you pay to keep them with you forever? The great thing about the gospel is that it is free! It is available to all men without price. In the Temples of the Lord families can be sealed for time and all eternity. What greater gift is there?

Faith

Faith is to hope for things which are not seen, but which are true (Heb. 11: 1; Alma 32: 21), and must be centered in Jesus Christ in order to produce salvation. To have faith is to have confidence in something or someone. The Lord has revealed himself and his perfect character, possessing in their fulness all the attributes of love, knowledge, justice, mercy, unchangeableness, power, and every other needful thing, so as to enable the mind of man to place confidence in him without reservation. Faith is a principle of action and of power, and by it one can command the elements and/or heal the sick, or influence any number of circumstances when occasion warrants. Even more important, by faith one obtains a remission of sins and eventually can stand in the presence of God.

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I had an amazing weekend. Friday night the Elders came over to visit with my roommate and me. We didn't have a previous appointment. They just texted and asked if they could come over and visit. I have had a stressful week filled with appointments, car problems, health problems, 6 year old temper tantrums and meltdowns. The Elders arrived and asked about our day. I talked about my stress. Then Elder Eccles read from Mosiah 23

  21 Nevertheless the Lord seeth fit to chasten his people; yea, he trieth their patience and their faith.

  22 Nevertheless—whosoever putteth his trust in him the same shall be lifted up at the last day. Yea, and thus it was with this people.

  23 For behold, I will show unto you that they were brought into bondage, and none could deliver them but the Lord their God, yea, even the God of Abraham and Isaac and of Jacob.

  24 And it came to pass that he did deliver them, and he did show forth his mighty power unto them, and great were their rejoicings.

Sometimes it helps to be reminded that bad things happening is not a sign that God has forgotten us, or that we did something wrong. That scripture was just what I needed to hear. As the Elders were getting ready to leave I asked them what had caused them to come visit us. Elder Eccles responded that they wanted to ask us about a friend that has been coming to church and also that they hadn't visited with us and that they really felt that they should come by. It is always amazing to me to see how the Lord answers our prayers with other people, and how He gently reminds us that He does love us and is looking out for us. All He asks is for a little trust, a little faith. Sometimes I get so overwhelmed with my own little perspective that I forget that the Lord knows the ending of my story already. I am going through these things for a reason, even when I don't see it, He knows why. He will inspire other people to come be the answer to my prayers. I am so grateful for people in my life that follow the promptings of the Holy Ghost.

Stake conference was so great. Saturday night and Sunday morning, about three and a half hours of great talks on faith. To be in a room filled to overflowing with people that believe the same things I do was great. Living in the world that we live in, it is so important to have faith. Faith is what helps us keep moving forward.

In the above account from Mosiah 23, the people had done everything they were supposed to do. They were living the commandments, obeying God's will and yet they were still captured by their enemies. They could have given up, they could have decided that God was not real (current day concept: God doesn't exist, if he did how could he let bad things happen to good people), they could have been bitter about their lot. Instead they increased in prayer and faith and were delivered. It proves to me that the Lord is the same today yesterday and forever. People are too. The manner that we end up in "captivity" is different now than it was then but we can react the same way and the way out is still the same. Faith in the Lord is the only way we will make it to eternal freedom.

My favorite scripture from this weekend was 2 Tim. 4: 7 I have fought a good fight, I have finished my course, I have kept the faith.
Faith is not a one time thing, it is not something that happens to us. It is a process and a choice, and it is a lifetime effort. Paul does not say this sentence until he is saying goodbye to Timothy. It is when he knows that he will not be writing to Timothy ever again, as his martyrdom approaches. Finishing a course does not imply doing one thing and being done. It implies steadfastly doing something. I especially like the "fought a good fight" part because living each day with faith is not always easy. Sometimes it is a struggle. Sometimes it is an all-out fight against Satan and his minions. When we excercise that faith, though, we are not left alone. The Lord is at our head and we are surrounded by angels. Like Elisha, 2 Kgs. 6

  16 And he answered, Fear not: for they that be with us are more than they that be with them.

  17 And Elisha prayed, and said, Lord, I pray thee, open his eyes, that he may see. And the Lord opened the eyes of the young man; and he saw: and, behold, the mountain was full of horses and chariots of fire round about Elisha.

Faith is such an amazing and wonderful thing. I am grateful for parents who taught me to have faith in the Lord. For even though I have done silly things in my life, He has never let me down and He has never given up on me.

If life seems hard, have faith, hold out a little longer and the Lord will strengthen you until the time for freedom arrives.

Believe, Act, Receive

 There is a law, irrevocably decreed in heaven before the foundations of this world, upon which all blessings are predicated— and when we obtain any blessing from God, it is by obedience to that law upon which it is predicated.  D&C 130:20-21 I, the Lord, am bound when ye do what I say; but when ye do not what I say, ye have no promise.  D&C 82:10. This blog is about the faith it takes to obey the commandments even when the blessings don’t seem immediately apparent. My friend had this quote on her social network page and I really liked it. It said “Faith is not necessary when you know how things are going to work out, - that's knowledge. It's in the time of unknowing that having faith is what sees you through to the other side. Faith is what gives you strength. Faith is that light in your heart that keeps on shining even when it's all darkness outside.” Faith is not an easy thing to have at times and it is even harder to explain to those who have fallen into Satan’s lie of “if you can’t see it or prove it, it doesn’t exist”. But when we have exercised faith it becomes easier to have faith the next time

When talking about my finances and the things that I would like to do but can’t afford to do I say “when I win the lottery that I don’t play, I will do such and such a thing” Now I know that I can never win the lotto because I never play. Some people seem to want to receive the blessings without obeying the law upon which it is predicated. Then when things don’t go their way they rail about life being unfair, however the Lord is bound by Laws, if He were not He would not be God. He cannot give blessings to those who have not obeyed the laws that the blessings are predicated on. He also cannot withhold blessings from those who have faithfully kept His commandments.

3rd Nephi 24:10 says Bring ye all the tithes into the storehouse, that there may be meat in my house; and prove me now herewith, saith the Lord of Hosts, if I will not open you the windows of heaven, and pour you out a blessing that there shall not be room enough to receive it.

 I have a great testimony of the power of that promise. When my daughter and I first came back to the United States I had $50 to my name. I had one truckload of physical possessions. With much trepidation I got on welfare. I spoke to my bishop and he said that since tithing is paid on an increase, and welfare technically wasn’t an increase, it was up to me to decide if I was going to or not. He pretty much told me that if I didn’t pay tithing on the welfare I was receiving I could still claim myself as a full tithe payer. I decided to put that scripture to the test. In September I started welfare and started paying tithing on it. It was not a lot of money that I was paying each month in tithing, but it was a full 10%. In October I started a mandatory work training class, in November I had a job and in December I was making too much money a month to continue receiving welfare. I know that I was blessed for paying tithing.

Sometimes when we follow a commandment or ask for something the blessings come almost immediately. Other times they seem to not even be on their way.

In D&C 58:4 the Lord tells us “For after much tribulation come the blessings. Wherefore the day cometh that ye shall be crowned with much glory;” however in that same scripture he says “the hour is not yet, but is nigh at hand. “ It is a promise and a warning in a way. There will be blessing and crown of glory, but it’s not coming yet and there will also be much tribulation beforehand.

I love the story of the first vision because it teaches us so many truths, the truly obvious ones are truths such as the Lord and Jesus Christ have physical bodies, they are separate personages and that the Lord does answer prayers. It also teaches us things about blessings. “In accordance with this, my determination to ask of God, I retired to the woods to make the attempt. It was on the morning of a beautiful, clear day, early in the spring of eighteen hundred and twenty. It was the first time in my life that I had made such an attempt, for amidst all my anxieties I had never as yet made the attempt to pray vocally. After I had retired to the place where I had previously designed to go, having looked around me, and finding myself alone, I kneeled down and began to offer up the desires of my heart to God. I had scarcely done so, when immediately I was seized upon by some power which entirely overcame me, and had such an astonishing influence over me as to bind my tongue so that I could not speak. Thick darkness gathered around me, and it seemed to me for a time as if I were doomed to sudden destruction.  But, exerting all my powers to call upon God to deliver me out of the power of this enemy which had seized upon me, and at the very moment when I was ready to sink into despair and abandon myself to destruction—not to an imaginary ruin, but to the power of some actual being from the unseen world, who had such marvelous power as I had never before felt in any being—just at this moment of great alarm, I saw a pillar of light exactly over my head, above the brightness of the sun, which descended gradually until it fell upon me.  It no sooner appeared than I found myself delivered from the enemy which held me bound. When the light rested upon me I saw two Personages, whose brightness and glory defy all description, standing above me in the air. One of them spake unto me, calling me by name and said, pointing to the other—This is My Beloved Son. Hear Him! “

One of the things that always strikes me from this passage is the sentence “and at the very moment when I was ready to sink into despair and abandon myself to destruction, just at this moment of great alarm, I saw a pillar of light exactly over my head, above the brightness of the sun, which descended gradually until it fell upon me.” The Lord could have come at anytime to save the Prophet, but he waited until the very last possible moment. At any of those times Joseph himself could have abandoned his design but he didn’t give in, even when he feared that he would be destroyed he still called upon the Lord in faith. Another lesson that we learn from this is that this first vision occurred in the spring of 1820, after that he was left “to all kinds of temptations; and, mingling with all kinds of society,[he] frequently fell into many foolish errors, and displayed the weakness of youth, and the foibles of human nature; which led [him]into divers temptations, offensive in the sight of God. He didn‘t receive another vision until September 1823, almost 3 and ½ years later. Sometimes there is a good deal of time between obeying a commandment and receiving the promised blessing

Thus saith the Lord your God, even Jesus Christ, the Great I Am, Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end, the same which looked upon the wide expanse of eternity, and all the seraphic hosts of heaven, before the world was made; The same which knoweth all things, for all things are present before mine eyes; D&C 38:1-2

To me that means that I have to remember that the Lord does truly know better than I do. The way I think of it is if all things are present before the Lord than he has already answered my petition. Now it might not be when I want it or even when I think I really need it, but when the Lord knows that I need it.

It is also important to remember that we are not merely mortal creatures, we are not human beings having a spiritual experience, but we are spiritual beings having a human experience, we are children of a Divine Father who has perfect vision but we are looking at life through a physical filter. He has no blinders to affect his vision. He knows precisely when we need the answer to be “yes and now”.

With promise immutable and unchangeable, that inasmuch as those whom I commanded were faithful they should be blessed with a multiplicity of blessings; D&C 104:2 

Waiting for those blessings to come is sometimes the hardest part of being faithful. We are, by nature and exacerbated by the society in which we live, impatient people. We live in a society where if someone can’t get something for you right now, there is someone else who can. Instant gratification is the game of the day. Why wait to save the money to buy something when you can get it on loan? Why wait for marriage before making sure you are compatible? I mean you wouldn’t buy a car without test driving it right? Satan tries to get us to think that since it hasn’t happened yet, it’s not going to happen. What then is the point of keeping a commandment, if the promised blessings never arrive? However, the Lords promises ARE sure! We will always receive the blessing if we have the patience and faith required to wait on the Lords timeline. He knows us better than we know ourselves. He still remembers who we were. We are more than just our mortal experience and the Lord will give us blessings according to our faithfulness and when we need them, to reach our full potential and to help us grow into the people he knows we can become. Patience is something that I struggle with, but I have seen the Lords hand in my life, so I wait. Every day I put one foot in front of the other and continue on the upward path. It is not easy, but I know one day that it will be worth it.

One final thought, with all this waiting to be blessed and trials and tribulations that come before the blessings we should remember that Adam fell that men might be, and men are that they might have joy. Not just some future joy but joy here and now. Brothers and Sisters may we have the faith required to receive the blessings the Lord has promised us and may we find joy in the journey.

Enduring to the End

So I was reading in the Book of Mormon. The account of Lehi's dream. I have heard that story many times in my life but this time a particular verse stood out to me more than ever before.

1 Nephi 8: 6-12
4 ...For behold, methought I saw in my dream, a dark and dreary wilderness.

  5 And it came to pass that I saw a man, and he was dressed in a white robe; and he came and stood before me.

  6 And it came to pass that he spake unto me, and bade me follow him.

  7 And it came to pass that as I followed him I beheld myself that I was in a dark and dreary waste.

  8 And after I had traveled for the space of many hours in darkness, I began to pray unto the Lord that he would have mercy on me, according to the multitude of his tender mercies.

  9 And it came to pass after I had prayed unto the Lord I beheld a large and spacious field.

  10 And it came to pass that I beheld a tree, whose fruit was desirable to make one happy.

  11 And it came to pass that I did go forth and partake of the fruit thereof; and I beheld that it was most sweet, above all that I ever before tasted. Yea, and I beheld that the fruit thereof was white, to exceed all the whiteness that I had ever seen.

  12 And as I partook of the fruit thereof it filled my soul with exceedingly great joy; wherefore, I began to be desirous that my family should partake of it also; for I knew that it was desirable above all other fruit.

 

So every other time I had heard the story I was thinking about the fruit, which represents the love of God. I always thought how wonderful it would be to get that, and all you have to do is follow the Savior. So this time, a different verse popped out to me. I have been having personal struggles lately. Being a single parent is not easy. My daughter is 6 going on 17 at times. Lately I had been wondering if it all was really worth it, following the Lord and trying to do the best I can. I would ask "If we are promised good things for following the Lord, why can't I even get ahead? I am trying to raise my daughter right, why am I being left to flounder?" As I read this account a little sentence stood out to me.

Verse 8 And after I had traveled for the space of many hours in darkness... wow, what a revelation at that moment. Even after we choose to follow the Lord we have to walk in darkness, partly to get us out of the place we put ourselves in by not following. The Lord will show us the path to walk but He will not teleport us out. It is by traveling for those "many hours" that we come to trust and rely on the Lord. If it came easily like being teleported out, I don't think we would appreciate it as much. We value more what we put our time into. When you work for something, you have more care for it once you have it.

Enduring to the end, it's not an easy thing. We do have to pass through moments of darkness, moments of dreariness. We have to endure the scorn of the world for Christ's sake. But at the end of those many hours is happiness beyond description. A joy that you want to share with your family. A love that is worth more than any worldly treasure. That is something I hope that my daughter learns from watching me. The journey is hard, and at times it may not seem worth it, but the Lord will always give us an opportunity to see what we are heading for, like He did for me with an old familiar story.

 

Webster's defines Endure as: to undergo (as a hardship) especially without giving in: suffer

2: to regard with acceptance or tolerance

 

The Topical guide has a more positive outlook on the word "endure"

Endure see also Commitment; Courage; Dedication; Dependability; Diligence;  Faithfulness; Integrity; Loyalty; Obedience; Perseverance: Steadfast 

 

Enduring to the end has a slightly different connotation when you use those definitions. Be faithful, loyal, dedicated, dependable to the end. I think I can do that :)

To forgive, divine

To err is human, to forgive, divine.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E7zwQ_7q-fU

Forgiveness is not always the easiest path. Satan would have us believe that the other person does not deserve forgiveness, or that they need to pay for what they have done. Sometimes we really want to believe those things, especially if what has happened to us is very painful.
However, the Lord has said that vengeance is His. He has also said "I the Lord will forgive whom I will forgive, but of you it is required that ye forgive ALL men." D&C 64:10 He doesn't suggest that this might be a nice thing to do. Or that you can pick and choose who you will forgive. It says "required" and "all".
Forgiveness brings healing to the forgiver and the forgiven. It brings a peace that cannot be found through worldly means. It breaks down walls that are blocking forward progression.
So how does one get to the point as this man did of forgiving someone? How do you get passed the pain that another person's actions have caused?
It can be done. The solution is beautiful in its simplicity. Love them and pray for them. I know how hard it can be, and how easy it can be. It is easiest when you allow the Savior to help you. It is hardest when you try to do it on your own.
I was held in Mexico for four months by a person that had promised to love and cherish me. For me it was quite literally Hell on earth. I was beaten, starved and threatened with death. I was abused physically, sexually, emotionally and mentally. For a brief time I thought I was going to die there and never see my family again. Through a series of miracles my family found out where I was and what was happening to me and orchestrated my rescue. I had lost between 60-80 pounds in those four months and my body was so malnourished that a common virus turned into a ravaging illness that left my skin yellow and me so weak I couldn't even walk a block without needing to stop and rest for several minutes. For weeks after I got back into the States I was so angry, at him, at the people that had helped him hurt me, at myself for even going down there in the first place. I fantasized about death, for me, for him, for his family. For me quick and painless, for his family painful but short and for him lingering torture. Weak and angry I went before the Lord, recognizing that it was His hand that guided my path and led me out of there safely, I pleaded with him. I knew that I could not claim to be a good Christian with so much hate in my heart, and I knew that I could not deny the tender mercies of Christ. So I prayed that I could forgive the people that had hurt me and forgive myself. It was hard to pray for them at first. The words stuck in my throat. I would pray a prayer within the prayer, for the desire to want to say those words. "Help me forgive" A sweet peace came over me, that scripture from Romans came to my mind "Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord." Suddenly my prayer changed, a fervent prayer that this family that had caused me so much pain would find and accept Christ into their lives. Why? Because I realized that no evil idea that I could come up within my little human mind could equal the wrath of a Just and Vengeful God. They needed the Atonement to forgive them of their sins against me as much as I needed it to be able to forgive them and be healed.
Now unlike this man, I have no clue the affect my forgiveness of this family has had on them. I hope that in some cosmic way, they feel it and that their lives are better. I know that my life is better because of it. The Lord doesn't command us to forgive so that the other person feels better. He commands it of us because it allows us to move forward without bitterness. He knows our pain, and He counts our tears and through forgiveness, heals us.

2 Kgs. 20: 5

  Thus saith the Lord, I have heard thy prayer, I have seen thy tears: behold, I will heal thee.

Rev. 21: 4

  And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away.

Acrobatic Butterflies

2 Tim. 1: 7 For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind. There are times when it is easier to stay in the shadows, to hide from the world. Sometimes shame drives us, sometimes pain. Most times it is fear, fear of rejection, fear of retaliation, fear of looking like a fool, fear of being wrong. The Lord has not asked us to know everything, He has asked us to open our mouths and have faith that the words will be provided. Sometimes, like I tell my own child, He says "because I said so." And I need to trust Him that he has a reason, just as I have a reason when I tell my child that.
Philip. 4: 13  I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.So why do I have acrobatic butterflies in my stomach? Being bold and brave has never really been my strength. I am the person behind the camera. I am the (wo)man behind the curtain. So I started this blog so that I could follow the Missionaries in my area, and I got the idea that since I have it I might as well do something with it. So, I have my "larger" blog that pertains to the everyday happenings of my life. But, like the smaller plates of Nephi, this blog will be about spiritual matters. So back to the butterflies, I am a little nervous about putting this side of me forward. I am not ashamed of the Gospel of Christ, but it is very personal to me. I know who I am, I know where I am going, and I am ready to share that knowledge with all who ask. In a world where people don't know what to stand for or what purpose there is, I invite you to come unto Christ and find the best purpose.